As the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, my wonderful husband turns to me and says “right, this is the year for you…2018 is your year.”
We had discussed a couple of times about how this year I could start to re-pursue my career, take time out for me and make sure that I wasn’t just being ‘Mummy’ all the time. Not so much a ‘new year, new me’, but rather a ‘new year, let’s remember who me is’ kind of year!
And yet as he said those few little words, all I could think about was what the hell or who the hell am I, apart from “Mummy” or “the nerd’s wife” (cheers to an 8-year-old for that one!)? Sure, I have a great friendship circle, I loved my job before going on maternity for the second time, and I regularly find time to do things I enjoy already. But, this new opportunity to do whatever I want; perhaps further the passions I have long forgotten about, rekindle my interests, or even relaunch my career (if that’s what I want), has just left me feeling more confused than ever!
It’s strange – I have always totally admired those mums who literally live, breathe and worship their children; never spending a minute away from them; mums who seemingly never have those moments that are actually really hard to cherish (yes, I mean the poosplosions or tantrums in a supermarket!). Essentially, as The Unmumsy Mum puts it, those ‘Ruth’ mums who are just incredible and have incredible children. Despite my admiration of mums like Ruth (after all they must be superheroes!), I have never considered myself to be one of them. Ever since having Thea in 2015, it has always been the case that I would regularly do things away from her and life as a ‘wife/mum’, be that a girly weekend away or getting those tickets to that concert I really wanted to go to!
But now here I am, with the chance to really find something I love doing, and all I can think about is who will look after the kids?? (probably their Dad!), when will I catch up on all my trash TV?? (probably a Wednesday morning!) and what shall we have for dinner??(Let’s face it- that’s always on my mind!). Really what I’m thinking is what can I do for me that is also for the good of my family, my husband, my kids? I’ve not quite worked out the answer but I’m thinking it will be something that is going to challenge me in a way that I want to be challenged, to make sure that I remember who I am and what I enjoy, aside from hot chocolate at Pittville park!
So here’s to the start of ‘The Year of Me’ – I’m intending to chart my wondrous adventures on a blog, just in case it proves to be useful for someone else, or if nothing else a good chance to have a laugh in a few years’ time! First step – working out what I am going to do with myself!
Wish me luck! x
A Guest Blog from Danni Blackburn
Danni is a 28-year-old mum of 2 who has recently moved back to Gloucestershire after teaching in Wiltshire for the last few years. She loves spending time with her family, learning new languages and drinking hot chocolate at Pittville Park with the kids!
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