Hands up if you can recall a time or one of those days when you’re stuck in the thick haze of motherhood and all that was needed to make your day a little more bearable was a touch of kindness?
I’m waving both hands in the air! Kindness really really makes a difference in all parts of life but particularly when you’re struggling to keep all of your little ducks in a row.
Today I’m teaming up with Dentinox to list my top five ways that you can show a little bit of kindness towards a new mother without really breaking a sweat. Why not tick one off the list every now and again and see what a difference it makes to the way you feel but more importantly the way that mother is feeling.
1. Tell a fellow Mum they are looking amazing. Yes their eye bags may be bigger than the moon but everyone has something that makes them sparkle and telling a fellow mum how great their hair looks or that you love their sandals or that the running they’ve started doing has made a real difference will do wonders for their self-confidence. 2018 Research by 3Gem and Dentinox of 500 UK new mums showed that at least 10% really suffered with reduced self-confidence when they became a Mum.
2. Notice when they look like they are at the end of their capacity to remain awake. Particularly brand-new mums – find a way of asking them if you can look after their baby while they sleep that they can’t refuse. Say that you are desperate to binge watch some Netflix but can never sit still in your own home. Make them believe that they are doing you a favour by letting you come and cuddle and care for their newborn while they sleep. Give them some earplugs, explain that you will sort out your own cuppa and send them to bed. 38% of those taking part in the research cited tiredness as their number one struggle.
3. Open the door! So obvious but so often forgotten – see a buggy (more often than not pushed by a mum with a bit of a stressed out sweat on) jump up from your comfortable spot in the coffee shop and do the decent thing. We’ve all been the one trying to manoeuvre the tank of a buggy Instagram made us buy that won’t fit though a standard door!
4. Pick up the phone – I know I know who needs another reason to pick up their phones but sometimes just checking with a fellow mum friend and asking the simple question ‘are you ok?’ is all you need to do to let someone know they’re not alone and that someone else gets it. Granted you need to also factor in the time to be there to support your friend if your simple question prompts a meltdown but is that not what friends are for and would you not be grateful if the tables were turned?
5. Finally if your opinions aren’t going to make life easier for a new mum then maybe just keep them to yourself? The art of knowing when and when-not-to share your thoughts and advice is a learned skill that everyone should work on developing. When a mum is beating herself up about her child’s development or feeding preferences or inability to sleep through the night, listening is often the most helpful thing you can do. Reassure them that they are doing a great job and that all she can do is make the right decisions for her family. There are no right ways to be a mother – only your way.
Dentinox understands the importance of kindness, which is why its range of simple and effective baby medicines provide comforting relief when it comes to treating colic, cradle cap and teething, helping to put parents’ minds at ease. We’ve recently been trialing their cradle cap treatment on the Cheltenham Bébé who has suffered with mild cradle cap since she was born. It’s working a treat and slowly but surely the patch of her scalp that has always been flaky seems to be looking much better. We use just a small amount alongside a Pourty cradle cap brush and gently massage the little lady – it’s looking so much better and like her mum she seems to love a soothing head massage!
So why not take a leaf out of the Dentinox book today and treat your little one and other mums with a bit of kindness. Oh and as a mum of a toddler I almost forgot …….. NEVER forget to smile kindly to that parent dealing with a toddler tantrum – inside they’re probably just as distressed as their child.
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