How Will I Love my Second Child as Much as the First?

How Will I Love my Second Child as Much as the First?

Life was good. Our first born was doing well and we were starting to feel like we were nailing this parenting malarky – we had our evenings  back and she was sleeping through. Then, like many others in our situation we had the should we or shouldn’t we debate. Not surprisingly (with the chance of a bit of intimacy on the cards) my husband was strongly in favour of adding a new team member and thankfully after a few months of trying it happened again… two lines on the stick.

Eek! Due in March same as baby number 1, June is obviously a good month for us! Our first thought was yay! This was quickly followed by; Where will it sleep? I hope it’s a girl. Will I love it as much as number 1? Will I make it to the 12 week scan? (Best book an early scan just for peace of mind). Who do we tell first? When do we tell number 1? How will number 1 take it? How do we prepare number 1? Etc etc.. I’m exhausted just writing all that but there are just so many questions.

We had our early scan and seeing the tiny blob on the screen growing inside me bought a sense of calm – it’s going to be ok. We’d made it to 12 weeks. I was still hoping for a girl so I could have my very own “Frozen” scenario – even thinking if I could convince my husband to go with the name Elsa (we had Annabel /Ana already).

Fast forward to the 20 week scan and we find out we’re having a boy… secretly gutted. I wanted Annabel to have a sister… of course the standard response is “ooo one of each! Perfect”. I find this notion a bit odd that one of each is deemed perfect – like we have any influence over it whatsoever. I also find it odd that if you do have 2 girls people ask if you’ll try for a boy!? Anywho – it’s a boy and I’m glad we found out because I need to mentally prepare myself for this. Plus side – I need to shop for clothes as the ones we saved are far too girlie for our little boy. It’s astonishing how a bit of retail therapy can help get you over your gender issues…

Before he is even born little man has enough clothes to last until he is 12-18 months I am feeling a bit better about the fact he is a boy – the cute Boden joggers have helped.

Then comes the birth and strangely, because I found out he was a boy and we have been referring to him as him I’m excited to met him! Not going into detail of the birth as it’s irrelevant now – he’s here in one piece and that’s the main thing. And, unlike with number 1, I actually do start to have feelings for this tiny sleep thief that’s been presented to me straight away. He is actually really cute and we name him Alexander (After baby Alexander in Peppa Pig – really!).

My love for Annabel – my first born – wasn’t there to begin with – there wasn’t a huge rush of love when she was born. It’s grown over time as she’s blossomed into the inquisitive threenager she is now. I sneak into her room at night and watch her sleep (the ONLY time she’s quiet) and my heart literally bursts. She’s bossy, loud, confident and has her daddy wrapped around her little finger – I taught her well.

How would/can I ever love number 2 as much?

Before Alexander was born my husband described love as a cake (he knows me well) and said we have to think that rather than chop up our “love” cake and spread the slices around those we love we just bake another. And he’s right (but don’t tell him that), when Alexander came along I rustled up a whole load more love for him, I shouldn’t have worried.

One night, in the weeks after he was born, I sat and cried and cried and cried, because I realised I was so lucky to have two children I loved so much. Daft really but sleep deprivation will do that to you!

So to anyone who’s about to have their second and is worried how they will ever love another child as much as their first – don’t worry. You’ll rustle up a whole new batch of love and your heart will be full to the brim. It’s a great feeling!

A Guest Blog from Sarah Corfield

About Sarah

Sarah lives in Wiltshire with her husband and their two children (who she loves equally). She is currently on maternity leave with their youngest Alexander (coming up to 6 months) while their daughter Annabel (who reminds them daily that she will be four next spring) attends nursery four days a week.

After really enjoying Baby Led Weaning with her daughter Sarah has decided to do the same with Alexander and will be capturing the fun in her blog Alexander’s Adventures with Baby Led Weaning. You can find Sarah on Instagram. Sarah also enjoys singing with Rock Choir and drinking sparkly grape juice.

Enjoyed this read? Make sure you check out all of the CheltenhamMaman recommendations over at Maman Pages. 

 

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