A Guest Blog from Laura Edney
I would love to call myself a confident person, my friends and family would probably use this word to describe me and so would I in certain aspects of my life, but other areas…not so much.
Meeting new people, my blog and my career amongst other things are all examples of where i’ve let my fear of what might happen or how it will effect my family hold me back in the past.
A few weeks ago when thinking about this post I saw this quote on Instagram (we all love a quote);
If you like it do it
If you don’t like it….do it, you might like it
This is very true for me, I can talk myself out of doing something and its my fear of the unknown that’s doing it.
I worry too much about what people think would be my main reason for letting the fear take over. I’d love to be more like my partner who is very much a “this is who I am, if you don’t like it f**k off” kind of person, but i’m not.
Before I had my daughter Isla, I was working a busy full time role, we had a house we loved and Jonny was away on the rigs for up to six weeks at a time. When he was home, we had this fantastic social life and were always out and about doing things. However, when he left that social life would dwindle because the majority of our friends were his school friends. Not being from Worcestershire, I didn’t have the old friends down the road to call on and my work being in Birmingham meant that there might be some after work drinks but weekends ended up getting pretty lonely.
My other half is pretty black and white when it comes to any kind of big decision, or situation and his idea was for me to join a club or go out and meet new friends – my response to this probably wasn’t what he had in mind when he was trying to be supportive.
Having Isla in 2012 gave me confidence, and is a prime example of how I overcame my fears. I attended so many classes, groups, and NCT meet ups to try and make new friends and when I came out of my baby bubble and had done a lot of mummy dating, I had made some incredible new friends. Women who only lived down the road, or who worked in similar fields that I wouldn’t have met otherwise. Women who were awake at 3am to chat to and didn’t judge when they turned up to my house and my hair had definitely seen too many bottles of dry shampoo. In fact, I’ve met two of my closest friends since having Isla – they have seen me through a lot in the last 4 ½ years and these are relationships I had pretty much given up on finding.
Pregnancy and motherhood introduced me to the world of instagram, blogs and you tube. I had an instagram account but only used it for the filters rather than to follow people. But I soon discovered I loved reading the blogs of women or families in similar situations to my own. Motherhood blogs lead to me to beauty, fashion, fitness etc and eventually led me to starting my own blog. I’ve wanted to do it for years, often finding myself agreeing or disagreeing with something i’ve written and wanting to write in response but stopped myself because of what other people might think. Its still early days and I definitely still read each post a trillion times before pressing publish but so far the leap has been worth it.
Before kids I was a self confessed workaholic, but something shifted the minute I found out I was pregnant and being at home to raise my daughter was all I could think about. I went back to work part time when Isla turned one but it was a juggle and at the time I knew that it wasn’t right for us so I decided to resign. It wasn’t that I didn’t love working, I do, or having my own income – it just had to work for our family situation more importantly. Before having the girls I would work myself up into a right state prior to an appraisal, pay reviews etc – so much so my bosses would laugh as I was good at my job and had no reason to fear what they were about to say, but 2nd guessing myself had become a thing and I couldn’t shake it. Choosing to go freelance and work around the girls has been the best thing I could do when they were little. It’s changed how I perceive myself and my abilities but also made me so much more focussed on what I want to do as if it’s going to take me away from the girls then I want it to be something I enjoy.
Having my children has given me a confidence I never knew I had, even more so after I had Leni two years ago. Not just in motherhood, but in saying yes to things I want to do and more importantly saying no to others!
Laura is a freelance events and wedding planner and author of Yes Girls Blog, living in Worcester but originally from South London. Mum to two chalk and cheese girls Isla and Leni, and fiance to Geologist Jonny. Her happy place is a coffee or gin (dependant on the time of day), lusting over RightMove and the Cox and Cox catalogue or catching up on her guilty pleasure..Emmerdale whilst wearing an outfit that will definitely include some form of leopard print! You can follow Laura on Instagram.