Let me paint a picture for you…..
You are a corporate business women and you find yourself pregnant.
You have your beautiful baby and half way through your maternity leave you decide you’d quite like to be a stay at home mum for a while.
A year or so later later you find yourself pregnant again, you think great, I’m loving being a stay at home mum watching all those precious moments that many women have to miss.
Baby number 2 arrives and things start to go wrong.
Your husband starts drinking more and more and becoming emotionally abusive, eventually it turns into physical violence.
Your self esteem and self worth plummet and the next thing you know is you are having to walk out on a destructive marriage, with two young children, no money and too scared to fight for anything.
You leave behind a beautiful new house friends and financial security.
For a while I did the only thing I could do and asked for help through the benefit system, until I had the strength to fight legally.
You see the thing is, I was once a confident young business women, earning a very good salary, yet I felt like I’d hit rock bottom.
As the years went by I realised that whilst being at home with my beautiful children, being constantly told I wasn’t good enough, I had lost who I was.
I was emotionally and mentally low, but I wanted me back, however I had no idea how to get it.
I wanted to be able to have the life I used to have but without the ex husband!
I wanted to be able to go shopping without wondering if my card would be declined!
I wanted to be able to lunch with my friends, but I had no real spare money!
I had no confidence and I couldn’t see how I could ever get a job again because in my head i was not worthy.
I felt like I wasn’t good at anything anymore, because that’s what i was told so often so that’s what I believed.
SO WHAT CHANGED….
After a while I started training in the gym again and meeting new people. I’d managed to retain my two horses for the time being with my solicitors help, so I threw myself back in to training them, which gave me a sense of purpose.
All of this was great, but the horses where being paid for by my ex and I knew that once we got to divorce proceedings, they would have to go as he wasn’t willing to carry on paying for them.
I needed to find a way of being able to provide for myself and my children emotionally and physically.
Sue is a friend of mine whose son had a horse at the same stables as me. We quickly became good friends having the same sense of humour and interests. Sue had just retrained to be a beautician and she would come and do my nails and give me massages.
One day Sue introduced me to a new brand of beauty products called Arbonne. She left me with a bag of products to try on my kitchen table which were left untouched for two weeks!
The next time she came round, she asked If I had tried them! I couldn’t lie as they were still sat in the exact same place on the table. She said “look I highly recommend these products, they are unlike anything I’ve ever used before, I love them so much I have become a consultant for Arbonne and I was thinking if you like them you could maybe become one too.” She said that she would coach me and help me build a business from home sharing the products and business model with others.
LIGHT BULB MOMENT….
As I listened I thought could this be it? Could this be a way of me gaining my life back? Could I really do this?
That night I tried the products and to my surprise within 3 days my skin looked incredible.
I WAS IN….
These products where incredible but in the back of my head I thought I know nothing about products, I know nothing about network marketing, which is the genius business model Arbonne use for distribution. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn’t do this!
I explained my fears to Sue and she gave me a book called the Four year Career. I read it from start to finish and my belief went up a notch.
I then went to a product training event and my belief went up another notch. I then started listening to the weekly training calls by our up line and gradually my belief was getting stronger.
The thing is belief can fade if you don’t constantly feed it. So my up line had suggested some books to read and some every day practises to implement.
So I started to get up a little bit earlier than usual and read at least 10 pages of a book (i’ll put my suggestions at the end of the blog)
I would declare affirmations – if you’re not sure what I mean by this, its basically declaring something is already done. For example – “I am a confident, productive, ethical business women who attracts like minded fun people into my life and business everyday”
Now this may sound weird and a bit wacky but trust me… IT WORKS.
I promise you just implementing these 2 things before you start your day will strengthen your belief and confidence and help it grow.
It doesn’t matter what you do day to day, whether it be building a business or being a good parent, you need self worth and self belief. I’ve regained this through my Arbonne business.
SO WHAT ELSE…..
Dispose of any negativity in your life. I have a personal quote… “Negativity is a mindset best left where it deserves. In the bin with everything else that no longer serves you.”
You cannot build yourself up if you allow negativity in.
Now I know “LIFE” happens! Yes we all still have those days where the kids won’t get up for school and you then lose your car keys or you get a puncture and you need to be some where in 10 minutes. Yes life happens but here’s the thing… it’s how you deal with those situations that make the difference.
Do you let those things totally ruin your day? Are you a OH GOD I could do with a glass of wine already and its only 10am kinda girl? I know I have been.
So what changed? Two words… Self development! I religiously have my miracle mornings. If “LIFE” happens I deal with it and move on. I change to a positive frequency and get on with the rest of my day.
If you allow one negative thing to affect you, it will effect the rest of your day it will attract more negative things to happen as your mindset is negativity. If you deal with it and switch frequency to positive thoughts, trust me you’ll have a much better day.
Self development will help you through every aspect of your life. I have changed so much over the last few years and am so excited for my future. I love my time of reading and learning new things that help in my personal and business life.
I love the new me where my children watch my positive life habits and can see a new happy strong mummy rather than a sad weak one.
A mummy that said yes to an opportunity she new nothing about when she was scared, tired and unhappy.
An opportunity that gave her so much more than a business, it gave her a new way of life and has made her strive to be the best version of her.
A mummy that can be proud to say she has her own ethical network marketing business and is on well her way to time freedom, building a financial wall around my family.
Believe there is great waiting for all of us. We just have to look for the thing that lights us up!
Book Recommendations :-
The Secret – Rhonda Byrne
Go Pro – Eric Worre
You are bad ass – Jen Sincero
The chimp paradox – Prof Steve Peters
The four year career – Richard Bliss Brooke
How to win friends and influence people -Dale Carnige
Fearless and Fabulous – Cara Alwill Leyba
A Guest Blog from Ibi Whatley