It’s New Years Day. It’s raining and if I’m honest, I was ready to for everyone to go back to school and work two (maybe five) days ago. My house is chaotic, mucky and disordered to the point that I can’t even look at it but with the rabble still creating further chaos with every slight movement they make there can be no point in starting the battle to get it back in order. So I’ve made a cup of tea. determined not to let this day become one of my ‘MOOD’ days as the family love to call them, snuck away into a quiet corner and I’m doing what I do best. A list.
So let’s start with my physical person…. the body that I was born with, the soul and mind within it (we could be here some time.)
1. Half a stone. Just half a stone. 7 little pounds…. can’t be that hard can it? (Though this is off my pre christmas weight and I’ve as yet not dared to face the damage that the festive season has done.) So let’s say 10 pounds. I know what I’ve got to do and tomorrow is the day to get re-started. I’m working with the amazing Nicki Ryder at Fit Inside Out to sort this one. She is the first person in my life I’ve ever sent pictures of me in my underwear…. I’m so terrified that I will accidentally send these pics to all you newsletter subscribers one day…… (shudder.)
2. Toughen up baby. I’ve always been super sensitive. I misinterpret every compliment as a criticism and spend hours mulling over what somebody actually meant when they said ‘Hi! How are you?’ when I walk past them in the street. CheltenhamMaman has not helped matters on this front and I need to roll with the mantra that ‘you can’t please all the people all the time’ and work on thickening my skin. Anyone that spends half of their lives developing virtual relationships as well as real ones will also know that it’s so easy for emails or content on social media to get lost in translation and insecurities can develop very quickly. If I’m feeling like this I will step outside the door and take a break in the real world.
3. Read. Last year, despite packing in my full time job to pursue a life of less stress and better priorities, I had a few moments when I found myself getting a little anxious under the pressure of starting a new business, putting myself out there, being a good enough Mum to three kids and keeping a home and busy family schedule in order. If I have a great book on the go then for a little while I can escape and I have noticed a pattern that I fret more about all of the things I’m doing badly when I’m not enjoying a great book. Anyone else find this? Maybe a CheltenhamMaman book club would be a good move….
So let’s move on to my resolutions as a wife, mother, cook, launderer, chauffeur, administrator….
1. Sunday night planning. I’m going to try and drag my husband into the system of having a good chat every Sunday night about the stuff that’s going down. I tend to get really grumpy with him when I feel he doesn’t see all of the things that are mounting up in our life and rather than talking to him about it I just flounce about and sigh a lot. Understandably he just ignores me and it all ends in a blowout. So… 8pm Sunday – kids will be banished to their rooms, glass of something will be poured and out comes the diary and list. He’s actually really good at mucking in and will often volunteer to do some mundane task on his lunch break in the week so problems shared will become problems halved and more than anything I will feel less like I’m the only one who thinks about the admin of life.
2. Mindful parenting. Fortunately for me I have a lot of events lined up over the coming weeks with CheltenhamMaman that I will actually benefit from hugely myself! Kindful Mothering with No More Shoulds is next week (sold out but new dates will be added soon) and I am really hoping to pick up a few tips on this one. My husband has always said that if you can spend just 15 minutes one on one with each child and no distractions, each day, they won’t turn out to be a psychopath or resent you for ruining their childhoods. He does a wonderful job at it but I think it’s easier when you’ve been out of the house all day – I spend much more time with the kids than he does but it’s less focused so I know I can get better on this front.
And finally professionally…. this is a tough one for me. The future of CheltenhamMaman is all down to me. Just little old me and my typing fingers and decision making skills. There is risk every where I look and our first MumBoss event on Friday all about Fighting the Fear couldn’t be more poignant a subject so a couple of resolutions for myself as a new business owner are a must.
1. Get in control of your time. The Bébé starts nursery in a few weeks, just a couple of days a week, and assuming it all goes well (I’m already struggling with separation anxiety – how sad is that?) I will have two full days to get some stuff done. When you work from home and are in control of your own schedule it’s really easy to make your work bottom of the list of priorities – so if someone asks you to do something, be it for fun or as a favour to them it’s really easy to bat work aside and oblige – but these two days will be my office days and if I was employed I wouldn’t be changing my hours to accommodate something not related to the job so I plan to be really strict on myself with this one.
2. Get comfortable talking about dosh. CheltenhamMaman is such a great thing to have created and I’m really proud about some of the relationships that have developed as a result of it and the platform it has given lots of people to tell their story or explain their perspective on topics. But putting that all together takes huge amounts of time and if I don’t get on top of this resolution and my aversion to putting a pound sign on what I do it’s going to have to come to an end and whose interest is that in? I’d love to have the time and financial situation to be able to do all of this for an altruistic love of making life easier for Mums but the reality is that I don’t and if I can’t put baked beans on the table and contribute to the odd school ski trip (first world problems) then I’m back to the 9-5 so talking about money is something I need to get a handle on.
It’s not so much valuing my service with people who might benefit from me financially that I struggle with (although I’m crap at that too) it’s more the worry that my readers will think I’m ‘selling out.’ But I’m hoping that they (you?) will understand and won’t dessert the site if you see me flogging the odd feminine hygiene product or the next ultimate weaning tool. After all you wouldn’t read a magazine and not expect to see the odd advert here and there?
So there we go….plenty to think about and maybe I’ve given you some inspiration to get going with some hopefully achievable resolutions. Either way 2017 is going to be a biggy for all of us and I really can’t wait to get started.
I’d love to hear about what parts of your lives you are struggling with and how you plan on making them better. Problem shared and all that!
For now….. Happy New Year!
CMHQ (and crew)x